An ode to calendars and a lost friend

Just recently, lost a friend to an asthma attack. After-party fatigue. Odd-switching weather. A couple of factors that pile up. He’s heart stopped. That’s one defining moment. And it’s over. 

The next morning, I woke up early for his wake. I woke up feeling different, like the morning’s just different from all the mornings I’ve woke up to. 

Long moments of sitting on my bed. Not thinking, just looking at the faces of a god pasted on a wooden locker across me. 

I thought of my friend. And all the other people I can no longer spend my Christmas with. Ever.

They’re somewhere better, some would say. Someone would always say. And I’ve heard it too many times, I don’t think I could keep believing it.

More pauses. More stillness. And I went drifting. Deeper into my being. “I should try harder.” We should all try harder. To express our care and appreciation for those we have with us. Family, friends, relatives, colleagues. Whether we’re in the same physical space or connected online. 

Because the days and months in the calendar don’t guarantee their presence. Or ours. 

Rest in peace, Señor Emotero


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